Monday 24 August 2015

Bar Mitzvah Invitation Etiquette

A Jewish boy's Bar Mitzvah signifies his passage into Jewish adulthood. The Bar Mitzvah is both a service and celebration that involves invited family, congregation and community members. The Bar Mitzvah invitation sets the tone for the Bar Mitzvah as a whole. By ensuring that everyone in need of an invitation receives one, the language is appropriate and invites are sent out in a timely fashion, the celebrant should be en route to a successful Saturday morning.


Invitation Distribution


Deciding who does and does not get an invitation can be tricky. In many cases, congregation members of the temple hosting the Bar Mitzvah will not receive individual invitations. Details of the service and Oneg, a reception following the Bar Mitzvah, will be distributed in a monthly temple newsletter or online. This saves those throwing the Bar Mitzvah and Oneg from spending even more on postage.


Invitations to Bar Mitzvah guests who are not members of the temple should be mailed out three months in advance. For guests needing to travel, three months is enough time to book and schedule travel accommodations. Three months also allows enough time for RSVPs to be returned to the family hosting the Bar Mitzvah. This will give them the count needed to properly order food for the Oneg.


Invitation Language


Bar Mitzvah invitations should be straight and to the point. Language should include the boy's Jewish name, the date of the service, the location of the temple (address and cross streets if needed), time of the service and reception details if the Oneg is to be held somewhere else.


For additional Bar Mitzvah related events, such as a party at night or services held on days different than the Bar Mitzvah, an insert should be included in the invitation.


An RSVP card should also be included. Guests should be able to check whether they are or are not coming. If they are coming, guests should have a spot to mark how many will be in attendance. For more formal Bar Mitzvah, Onegs or receptions where a food choice is required, an additional blank should be included.


Determining Who Should Be Invited


A Bar Mitzvah is a sacred and celebrated religious transition. While Bar Mitzvahs are attended by many family members, congregants and friends, you are not required to invite everyone you have ever met. Inviting your boss and close co-workers is acceptable, but inviting the entire floor of your building is excessive. With family members, however, even far-removed members should receive an invitation. Though not all family members will make the trip, it is important you still alert them to this joyous and important occasion.


Invitations should also be reserved for the celebrant's friends. A Bar Mitzvah is one of the few events at which young boys may feel comfortable having their friends present or that such an allowance can be made. Having a group of the Bar Mitzvah boy's friends in attendance can also bolster his self-confidence when called to read from the Torah.

Tags: family members, enough time, hosting Mitzvah, members temple, Mitzvah will